Monthly Archives: January 2014

Wienergate – Sometimes They Get Big, Sometimes They Don’t

If you find talk of male genitalia, or genitalia in general, this post is not for you. Read no further…

Oh the joys of raising boys. With all of this machismo in the house, I have a hard time deciding how to handle certain situations when it comes to the men in my life and their, ahem, “special equipment.” My son has just turned four, and while he has always been fond of his dongle, he has recently become kind of obsessed. It is alarming at times to watch him man-handle his man handle, because he pulls at that thing like he’s firing a sling shot. Don’t even get me started on the balls. Yes, he called them that when he exclaimed “look mommy, I have two balls in my butt!” By the way, everything in that general area is referred to, by him, as his butt. That is unless it is his unit, which he calls his wiener.

My son’s wee wee is a topic of conversation that comes up daily, at the very least. We continue to remind him that he should only play with his ding dong during private time in his bedroom. I gently but firmly tell him to stop humping the bed, as I am reading him a bedtime story. I am trying to instill a sense of privacy when it comes to his privates, without making him feel ashamed or embarrassed and I try to do all of this with a straight face while he yells “look how big it is mom!”

If you have boys, what do you do when this pops up (gratuitous pun)? Please share your thoughts and ideas with me. And as my four year old says “sometimes they get big, sometimes they don’t.”

Bonus points if you kept track of the various euphemisms used in this post for the word penis.


DIY Junkie – What does your countertop look like? Oh look, a BIRDIE!!!

What does the title of my post mean? I’ve already forgotten. What does it tell you about this post? Uhhhhhh, I’ll get to that???

It has been an eternity since my last post and I would like to apologize the to two people who actually read this blog, but for the life of me I can’t seem to stick to any one thing for very long. Anybody else have this problem? I really just want to try everything, which leaves time for nothing really. Catch my drift?

What I am trying to say is that I am an over the top, balls to the walls, never say die, DIY (do it yourself) J-U-N-K-I-E. You say you like that hat you just saw? Let’s pop on over to the yarn shop and make it happen! Don’t like the chemicals in your lotion? Make that shit yourself! Looking for probiotics? Look no further, we’ll ferment something! In fact, I think I have a little DIY ADD. With that said, I thought I’d share a picture of my countertop with my projects that required staging for tomorrow. With a 4 year old and a newborn, it isn’t all that easy to actually complete a task, which overall, doesn’t help my cause much.


What you see above are two separate poolish, for tomorrow’s bread baking. The sourdough starter for another poolish tomorrow, two beeswax and chamomile infused grapeseed oil bases and two different liquid bases for lotion making. I am in an experimental phase with the lotion making and am looking to create just the right recipe. Also, there are some essential oils I will use to fragrance those lotions (ylang ylang, geranium, clary sage & lavender). This will all be completed after preschool with my son and before making dairy free clam chowder for dinner (don’t tell my husband that’s not real milk). Then at some point I’ll sleep 🙂

My New Year’s resolution was to blog more. So here I am blogging about what I am up to. You know, coz I am a narcissist like that. Oh, who am I kidding, I can’t stick to annual resolutions either.

My real resolution this year was to try and be a better mom. I am hoping to remember every day when my patience is running thin and I have to put down my hand blender again, ruining yet another attempt at the perfect emulsion, because somebody got a little poop in their pants while waiting too long to use the toilet, how lucky I am to have such a beautiful life with this beautiful family. Hey, do you think there is a market for lumpy separated lotion with fun names like “Stay at Home Mom Body Balm?” or “Made it During Naptime, Soothing Blend?” Yea, I didn’t think so.

Until next time… Oh look, a BIRDIE!